All is Well (Healing Story)
There are things in life that we never expect to happen. There are things in life that we least expect to happen. Sometimes, our imaginations and dreams suddenly happen. Sometimes, we expect a lot that we end up disappointing ourselves for things we badly expected because we badly wanted those things to happen. Other times, we get used to a lifestyle that once it suddenly changes, we drastically lose ourselves in the process. Sometimes, we get close to people whom we first thought we'll never ever get close to. But we ended up opening up so much that we get overly attached to them. They become our go-to person, our human diary, and our home. None of us may realize it but one person changed the other in ways deeper than we can imagine. The impact is just surreal that we change for the better and we grow and mature because of them. And their validation is all that matters for who knows why.
And then sometimes, life will happen and you'll start pursuing things separately. It will just hit you one day that the change is really happening. It will be very painful as if the world is about to end. The pain is inevitable. For most days, we'll be so badly devastated and anxious and depressed. It will go on for months and months. We're broken and shattered into a million pieces because they were gone. In a snap they're gone just like that as if nothing happened and they didn't do anything wrong. No one knows the truth. They won't admit that they have a fault in what you're feeling too and sometimes, they'll try to manipulate the situation because they don't want to put the blame on them. No one really knows what happened because there's always 3 sides to the story: Ours, Theirs, and the Truth. We'll be broken. We'll be in so much pain and hurt. We can't function well. Sometimes, we'll just put a fake smile on our faces and act like nothing is hurting us in front of our family, friends, and loved ones. We'll be broken and we'll cry every single night wishing that the lifestyle didn't change. We'll be so sad that it would be too hard to function. But that's okay because that's part of the process. When you feel like giving up, just cry. Cry it all out. And pray. When you feel like no one can understand you because that one person who can only understand and make you feel better is the same person who's making you feel what you're feeling, just pray and tell God everything. Cry if you must and let all the pain out.
Sometimes, no matter the pain they caused us, we just can't get mad at them. We'll still pray for them everyday. Our friends will say to move on because we're seeing things in rose colored glasses. But I'm afraid, that's not the case here. Sometimes, we'll find someone who just affected us in ways beyond normal humanely ways possible and not everyone could understand that. I'm here to tell you that people like them exist. And it's okay to be sad. Our emotions are real and valid no matter what they tell us because we know them better and we know that they are just trying to push us away.
And no matter how far they are from us now, they will always have a special place in our hearts. Even if it confuses us if they even see us as their 'friend' in the first place or were we just a pampalipas oras or something.
But all is well now.... for me. :) Took me about 8 months to be okay. Not completely but I'm getting there. I let go and let God on the 7th month. Still on the works but I'm getting there. A large part on why I can finally say that I'm doing well is because of Tuffy, my pet dog. I painted all my feelings before prior to Tuffy. Now she's healing me and I'm grateful for her.
Listen to my playlist. lol.
Listen to my playlist. lol.
5 comments
Great to hear you're doing better. Emotions can be hard but it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. This applies to everything...love, friendship, life. It is better to deeply care and be hurt, then to be a robot. When someone or something breaks our heart, it is tempting to try to ignore our feelings but it is better to try to understand them and get over them. I think you're very wise and you're doing the right thing. Take care always and remember you're amazing.
ReplyDeleteYour dog sounds wonderful!
Good to know that you have your pet dog to bring comfort to you in your time of pain. Hope complete healing will come to you soon and you will come out of it a stronger person. Take care, Rae.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear you are working through your situation. Beautiful words and I'm sure most people can relate to it at one time or more in their lives.
ReplyDeleteDeedee
https://madeupgirl-madeupgirl.blogspot.com
It's good that you are doing better and better- It's great that you have found the painting and you can express your emotions thanks to them. Sometimes after this kind of difficult moments we need time to just receive themselves back. I went through depression - I was on medication three years but now I am alive . I have a worse moments but around group of supporting and loving people thanks for them I am still here and breathe.
ReplyDeleteTake care there and if you need to write and talk with someone just let me know :-)
It's important to not to be alone and have someone around.
lots of huges
Karo
I'm happy you're doing well. I totally understand. I also went through something that I'm still healing from.
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