Twenty Three

I actually don't know how to start this post and I am 16 days late from posting this on my actual birthday but still, I want to document my thoughts (and also, I kind of like wanted to make this an annual thing) so here I go.~

Last year, at twenty two, I felt like I was a work in progress. And to be honest, turning twenty three feels like it's just a continuation of that, but a lot tougher because everything leveled up. Chasing after my dreams is not as easy as I thought it would be. Being equipped with passion and strong heart apparently is not enough to get a grip on my dreams. There's so much more I need to learn (apparently, I have to learn them quickly) but I am trying my best to keep my life together. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm on a "career-soul searching" kind of phase right now (will not elaborate on this as I plan on writing a separate post). But I must say, I think this year would somehow make or break my career path and I really hope I am on the right path because you know, I set aside my ballet dreams for my other dreams.

"So, how do you feel now that you're 23? Are you happy?"
Arby (my fellow Jr. Designer at Mondo) asked me this on my birthday and I think I wasn't able to "really" answer his question because I had a train wreck of thoughts in my head. But generally, I am very happy with all that's been happening with my life, good or bad. I strongly feel that I am super close to reaching my dreams, I just have to keep on moving forward, work harder, and never ever give up. I am so blessed in life and I am so grateful about a lot of things as well.

I think, for the most part, the biggest challenge of turning another year is slowly getting to put the pieces together and letting it sink in to me that I really am entering the path towards my dreams, that, it really is happening and that, there is no turning back. The decisions I've made sometimes eat me up but I know that this adulthood mindset can not be ignored so I just keep on praying that I am in the right path, of what God has planned for me, though most of the time I really question everything. Anyway, I know that I still have a long way to go and I still have a lot of dreams to chase after. I hope having the passion and keeping these things in mind is enough for now.

Twenty three is going to be another very interesting year. I can feel it. I am just so blessed with so many things and I am very thankful to have my family with me. They are so supportive and I feel so loved.

And if ever you're still here reading, then you may have been on this blog for years now and I just want to say that if you've also been commenting here, thank you very much because you've helped me, in one way or another, to be who I am and where I am today. And to the bunch of friends I've made in social media, you all know who you are, you have all been instrumental parts of my growth. Even if we haven't really met in person because we are from different parts of the world. haha.

What I've written last year and two years ago, are so much different than what I'm writing now. And I think this is all over the place. But I guess I'll just figure things out in the next years as I like reading my old posts. But as I turn twenty three, like on my 22nd, I could only hope for the best --- for things that would lead me to be where I’m meant to be and help me be the person I’ve always wanted to become. And it's already happening.

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  1. Better late then never
    Happy happy bDAY
    Keep in touch

  2. Aww, happy happy birthday, lovely Rae! You are the most talented, beautiful, and graceful ballerina I know! And even right now, you already are a talented designer too! Don't worry, you will go through this phase happy. Someone told me that it takes years and years to actually know what we want in life, and this is so true also for me. Enjoy this new chapter in your beautiful life, carina! ❤

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  3. Rae, happy birthday late... I will tell you this, I turned 53 this summer and I don't have it all together, I wonder if we really do... I think as long as we are moving forward, learning, growing then we are on the right path xox

  4. Belated happy birthday to you Rae!
    It's really awesome that you do know what you want to do with your career and you're working towards it.
    I think that there is the chance to turn back if you find you aren't on the path you want to be on any more, though. It may be costly but you're always allowed to change your mind. But keep doing what you love when you love it definitely!

  5. A lot can change in a year when you are 20 or a little more. You're still in the beginning and it is normal to doubt what you are doing it right. But in fact, all decisions are correct.
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  6. Happy birthday beauty. Each year is a new year, kisses.

  7. Happy Bday Miss Beautiful. Sorry for being late as I'm your new blog reader <3
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  8. Really awesome blog thank you
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